Almost two years ago, for my birthday, I made a wish, a deep, heartfelt wish from my soul to the Universe, that I was ready for my Mr. Darcy. I hadn't made a real wish on my birthday since I was a child, but that year, having just returned from a trip to London, where I felt I was leaving a part of my soul behind me, I knew the time had come to stop hiding, postponing, and fearing a happily ever after. I thought "I'm ready now," but the Universe's response wasn't to send me a man. No, instead it sent me a woman named Oprah (yes, that Oprah) and a show on her then new network called Oprah'sLifeclass (that people on my Twitter feed were buzzing about).
Lifeclass was a revelation. All of those life lessons that I had ignored, missed, or been completely blind to in the past came rushing toward me, a torrent of wisdom flowing into my brain. I always thought I had above-average wisdom to begin with. I was intuitive, empathetic, and observant, a student of psychology, sociology, philosophy, and history; I understood human nature fairly well. But I didn’t really understand myself. All those self-help books I started were left unfinished (bookmarks still in many of them). I hadn’t been ready to receive the wisdom they imparted, but suddenly, after making that wish, I was ready.
This new wisdom was coming from everywhere now. Twitter friends led me to Wayne Dyer and Deepak Chopra which led me to the Tao Te Ching. Oprah’s other big wisdom-imparting show Super Soul Sunday introduced me to dozens of writers and teachers I had never heard of before (like Iyanla Vanzant, Eckhart Tolle, Marrianne Williamson, Brene Brown). Somehow I heard about TheDailyLove.com and its Twitter feed (a daily dose of wisdom about health, relationships, spiritual healing, being more successful, etc.) and that introduced me to even more teachers, writers & gurus (like the Art of Love series, which was a two week online program on finding a life partner, and what to do once you got him – e.g. how to communicate or to have better sex, etc.).
I’ve read so many books, watched hours of uplifting television and listened to hours of podcasts, and I can’t stop yet. I’ve got so many books sitting in my Kindle waiting to be read (I’m alternating between self-help, relationship & Richard III right now – haha). The really interesting thing to me is that each link in this chain seems to be progressive. Each time I learn something new, I’m guided to the next level of wisdom. I don’t feel like I’m learning anything out of order (but if something does go over my head, it’s brought back around to me in a different manner once I’m ready to learn it).
I truly feel like when I meet my Mr. Darcy now, I will be fully baked, ready to be savored for the long term. I’ll know how to attract him, how to keep him interested, how to communicate with him, how to be the example of happiness for my whole family for the rest of my days. I know now to trust the timing of the Universe. When I meet him I will be ready. There may be more for me to learn, but I will learn it with him. There’s no reason for me to doubt my readiness or my perfection when I meet him, because I can tell that the Universe is trying to set me up for THE ONE, the life-long love, not the transitional guy. It makes me kind of giddy sometimes. :-)
Before I wrap this up, I want to share some of the books (with links) that I’ve found most helpful/profound/wise/enjoyable (that are good for those of you who are just starting your own journeys).
The Tao of Dating There is a reason this book was Amazon’s top relationship guide last year (there is a version for men and one for women). It mixes advice from the Tao Te Ching (perhaps the wisest book ever written IMHO) and advice for attracting a member of the opposite sex. No ‘rules’ or silly guides to flirting here, just honest observations and the knowledge that confident women who know they are sexy and lovable, will be seen by others as sexy and lovable too (same with men).
Wishes Fulfilled Forget The Secret. If you want to manifest a great future, here’s your guide. I like Wayne Dyer. He has a youthful spirit and is easy to mentally digest. I’ve read several of his books and loved them all. His PBS specials are really great as well. (I still love watching his special on Inspiration where he tells the story of Jack the Butterfly. You will never look at a butterfly in the same way again. See for yourself Here, the story starts about 1:32:35)
The Five Love Languages I admit, I only skimmed this one after seeing him talk about this with Oprah last month (it’s currently number two in the relationship books queue, and number six in my overall Kindle queue on books to read fully – lol), but since learning about these five love languages, I’ve been applying them to all of my relationships. I have found that I prefer to receive love via Physical Touch and Quality Time, but that I tend to feel most comfortable giving love via Words of Affirmation and Acts of Service (no doubt because these were my mother’s two primary languages of love), but if I never Receive Gifts again I will be ok (a girl can only have so much stuff – just more to have to keep clean or store) so I’m lousy at giving or receiving gifts. (Amazon gift cards for all!) P.S. It’s fun to assign love languages to your favorite characters from literature.
Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus Snicker if you must, but twenty years later this book is still a relevant, if not basic, guide to communication between the sexes.
Once you’ve read Five Languages and Mars/Venus if you are ready to get even deeper, go next to Harville Hendrix’s Getting the Love You Want (I’ve skimmed this too, but it’s a bit further down my queue because it’s more intense). Next up in my queue in the self-help category are Brene Brown’s The Gifts of Imperfection and Daring Greatly. After I saw her on Super Soul Sunday I knew I needed to tackle her next (she’s alternating with Richard III bios right now).